So its 12.31am midnight and I find myself sitted upright in my black and white space while the darkness shrouds me like a cloak and the sound of rain drops outside my window pane serve as a melody to my turbulent but reasoning soul.

The days are long and I grow weary of this environment, from my waking up to my laying down to sleep. I find this an un-fulfilling task indeed.

Every once in a while my thoughts drift to this question “why am I here?”, for want of an answer I find myself swatting at my already clammy skin, trying to snuff the life of a visting mosquito and I have to admit to myself that at least if there be no reason for my life at least the mosquitoes find me desirable.

Thoughts of Nigerian politics, impoverished families, uneducated youths and unemployed labor with an unending Lagos traffic stays in my head and I just wonder how one is expected to live long with such an existence. A failing transport system and a nation that cannot even provide the basic needs of its people, then it should not be a wonder that both the youth and the old struggle to leave d country through any legal or crooked means.

Yet with such disturbing scenes I still have to face the abusive nature of a workplace that has no regards for human wellbeing or her safety and yet expects under all circumstances to deliver as promised, I find the emblem representing the balance of justice slightly tilted to one side *sighs*, yet I will make a 5 hours trip to my home at night (which ordinarily should be about an hour) and yet have to worry about the lack of electricity and water whose availability might at least have brought some comfort. Over and above all these I struggle then to find comfort in the midst of those I love, helping out in any way I can and trying to ease out whatever burdens they might have and that is another dead end. I sense and feel no appreciation from them and instead they try to take advantage of me.

So in all these who then can one turn to? Sometimes I feel like a cylinder placed beside a naked flame ready to combust from the slightest lick of the fire, but still my heart stays steadfast and still and for how long? I do seek solace in one thing though, that some day I shall return to dust with my burdens lifted and maybe, just maybe they might remember and appreciate me…

credendo vides


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